Chatham-Kent police share strangest calls of 2018

Sometimes criminals aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and a new list from Chatham-Kent police proves just that.

Officials have issued their top ten 'silly calls' for 2018, and they range from roll-your-eyes ridiculous to 'What were they thinking?'

10. A man went into his garage and noticed that his gun locker had been pried open and several long guns missing. After calling police, he noticed a man walking away from his house, wearing his coat. The caller hopped into his car and drove towards the man - who actually flagged him down to ask for a ride! Police arrived and arrested the man, recovering both the firearms and the coat.

9. Around 1 a.m. a caller advised police that a stranger came to his door explaining he was out for a walk, and asked if he could use the man’s microwave to heat up the food he was carrying.

8. A man who has had several dealings with police attended the court house, where he had also been numerous times and gone through security screening. But this time he forgot to check his backpack before officers did. Inside were cheques stolen during a recent commercial break and enter. The man advised he was ‘carrying them for a friend.’

7. Police were called to a gas station regarding a man who had pumped gas, but didn’t have any money to pay. The man was kind enough to wait with the store clerk until police arrived – which was odd considering the man was driving a stolen vehicle from London.

6. A suspicious man was seen going door to door on a residential street, trying door handles at 2:30 in the morning. At one particular house however, he was startled when the homeowner opened the door. He claimed he needed a can opener – but he forgot the can.

5. After pulling into a snow-filled driveway of a rural home, a man tried to break into the house, but hadn't counted on the resident being home. The man fled back to his vehicle, which his partner had gotten stuck in the snow. The pair were able to free the car, but not before the homeowner obtained the plate. They pair were located a short distance away and arrested.

4. When officers arrested an intoxicated woman in Wallaceburg, she flung herself onto the front of the cruiser, opened her mouth and dragged her teeth across the hood of the car. She clamped down so hard, she was able to scrape the paint and clear coat completely off. Good teeth, or a good dentist? In either case, she was charged with Mischief.

3. Police were called about a suspicious person who was loitering outside a business in Chatham, asking passers-by for cigarettes. They were wearing a dark coat and scarf across their face. When asked to identify themselves, a high-pitched voice provided a female’s name. They had even stuffed their coat to appear to be a woman, but when the scarf was removed, a thick bushy moustache was revealed. The man was well known to police, known to uses aliases, and was out past his court appointed curfew.

2. Parishioners had a special treat one Sunday morning, when a man wandered into the church, walked directly to the piano, sat down and started playing a jazzy rendition of Happy Birthday. He was asked to leave – officers found him in the back of the church and after a scuffle were able to arrest him. He was charged with ‘Disturbing a Religious Service.’

1. Imagine the surprise of a business owner when he arrived at work to find a naked man inside. Police were called and after viewing the surveillance video, the eventful night was revealed. Turns out the man was initially clothed when he entered an insecure door and waited patiently in front of the ‘wait to be seated sign' - for 20 minutes. When he got no service, the man went to the bar and engaged in an animated conversation with a non-existent bartender and ate appetizers from a non-existent plate. The man was then seen engaging in an interpretive ‘chicken dance’ during which he eventually stripped down to his birthday suit; which is the state he was in when the business owner and police arrived. There was nothing stolen, but a great party was had by one!

And the Chatham-Kent police pick for silliest moment of the year...

An officer walking through police headquarters parking lot was surprised to locate a man that he was very familiar with, grilling chicken and ham on the employee barbecue at 8 a.m. When confronted, he summarily fired the officers who advised him to take his food elsewhere.